famous last words...

ok.... so I'm trying to (re)teach my kids that the best way to get my attention is to just sit and raise their hands quietly....   here's how today's version of that lesson went:

one of my boys was waving his hand calling Ms. Perry, Ms. Perry. Ms. Perry can I go to the bathroom and tuck myself in.... Ms. Perry? Ms. Perry?   He must have said my name about 50 times in the matter of 5 minutes. (mind you- at this point I have already heard my name about 1000 times in the last 3 days) 

I'm trying to cure several of them of this name calling habit by ignoring them until I get the desired response....

He finally gets the clue about 10 minutes after starting the whole name calling thing...  so I give it one more minute and call on him.....

Do you know why I was ignoring you????

His response???   Because you don't like me!   

I ask- how do you respond to that without laughing out loud and making him more upset with me than he already is???

needless to say- I told him this was not the case, and reminded him that quietly raising his hand will get my attention much faster...  and we all had a good laugh about it.

Be careful what you ask them...

Ok.... so we're reading a story in Reading... and one of the characters asked another "What would you be if you weren't a human?" ...  for this I was prepared.   I got answers that were unique (football, paper plane) expected (girls said cats or horses, boys said dogs) and random.

I was not prepared for the answers to the next question "What smell would you be?"  I asked them to think about it, but don't tell me... and then we moved on.  Well- within 5 minutes I had one little girl coming up to me and asking that I please tell the boy next to her to stop telling her what he smell he wants to be.  "He says he wants to be gas... you know... like a fart? ... so he can gas all the girls."   

Have you ever tried not to laugh when you have to reprimand someone? I couldn't do it- not with that answer. 

The Chipmunks were on to something...

"Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last (There is more truth to this than anyone will know...)
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast (a sentiment shared by all)
Want a plane that loops the loop (and a Wii, and movies, and x-Box, and legos, and shoes, and...)
Me, I want a hula hoop (and a skateboard, and a snowboard, and a harmonica...)
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late. " (If anyone loves us teachers at all... PLEASE... help us get to the end of December unscathed...)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Enjoy the break!

Holiday insanity... I *will* survive... (I hope)

Ok... a fact fairly well known by anyone with access to kids is that holidays are anticipated by all- either for the time off, time with family, no school... whatever.

to be a teacher with holidays/days off coming up is to start counting days/hours of holding on to our sanity. The energy level of the class is absolutely nuts!!! Now- don't get me wrong. I love Christmas as much as my kids, both for the time off from school and for the stuff I'll get as gifts- I love Christmas! but if the energy spent on thinking about (breath)havingdaysoffandwhatI'mgettingforchristmasandwhatIwantforchristmas (breath)
andwhereI'mgoingandwhoI'mgoingtosee (breath), etc. etc. was actually spent on doing classwork... more would pass their tests, get better classwork grades, do independent work quieter... and I would spend less time counting back from 5, or raising my voice, or shouting "HEY!" just to get everybody's attention.

to this end I have found a fantastic little book and doll to "settle them down". The Elf on the Shelf is a fantastic little story by a wonderful woman (I'm sorry that I don't recall her name) who created it for her own kids when they were young.(Thank God for bribery) This little elf comes every December 1st and is basically Santa's spy until December 24th. He watches all day, and goes back to Santa each night to tell him the scoop on who's been good and not-so-good... and returns to a different spot the following morning. The rules are you can't touch him (his magic will go away if you do and he can't go to Santa without his magic) but you can talk to him all you want.

it is the highlight of the morning to see where Hermie (that's my elf's name) has settled himself for the day. He's been behind books, on a statue shelf, behind a poster, to name a few spots. And the kids remind each other not to touch him... and that he's watching their every move.... but somehow, over the course of the day, it is forgotten that he is going to tell Santa about the behavior he sees (good and bad) and that they should behave just in case....until I remind them.
I don't remember being so keyed up as a kid in school... I can only imagine my teachers would have something different to say... some of my kids practically vibrate with energy.

the only thing worse than holidays and days off are snow storms. I have learned in my years in a school setting that children are often the best barometers around- especially for snow. The energy goes through the roof... and so, conversely, goes my patience level. Not that I don't like snow- I love it... to play in or just watch from the warm side of a window.

Needless to say- Christmas is in 3 weeks... it will be 10 of the longest days on my calendar for the remainder of 2008. These 10 more days will include: one more big test, and a couple of minor ones; a huge Social Studies project; 3 Kindergarten plays; a band concert; a Christmas show; and our own class party...

How, you ask, will I get through all of this and teach the core subjects too??? counting down to Christmas, counting down to vacation... one insane day at a time. Thank God there are only 10.

Do I have to??

I'm beginning to wonder who does what for my kids when they're at home. In class today, I gave an assignment to answer some questions after reading a couple of pages in the text. Not more than 5 seconds after assigning the task does one hand go up.... "I don't get it." I SO wanted to say- Of course you don't, you didn't bother to try!

I'm also learning that I hate the phrase "Do we have to?" ... this is in response to all kinds of directives and activities....

Do we have to ....

• take notes? ... nope- just practicing my handwriting.
• show the work? ... only if you want to get a good grade.
• put a heading and write in script? ... only if you want me to know to whom the grade goes and you want full credit....
• have to finish this for homework? ... nah- it was something for you to do because you were being noisy.

and about the returning of homework/folders/signed papers/etc?

• my mom forgot to give it to me.
• mom didn't put it in my backpack
• i didn't know we had to do that
• i was supposed to bring that back?

I mean, wow! What would they ever do without mom!? In my elementary days, if we left it at home, not only was it our fault, but it stayed there and was brought in the next day. There was no going back after hours to get books/assignments/clothing/lunchboxes/etc. There was no going back home to get the forgotten homework, musical instrument, or sneakers for gym class. We also didn't get to do the "good stuff" like play or have a treat of some kind, until all the "yucky stuff" (like homework) was done. And, WOW! If a bad grade came home, or I got in trouble in school... forget it!! Big time punishment that I didn't even think of trying to get out of.

What ever happened to teaching responsibility for one's actions? to owning up to making mistakes and/or doing something wrong, and then paying the consequence? Do kids even have consequences anymore?

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm not a parent (had a colleague say that to me once)... but I've been responsible for more than enough kids in my "short" life... some as teacher/mentor, some as employer/employee... they've all turned out good by my estimation. I know I can't take total credit for the whole person they've become, but I can tell you this- "my kids" know my rules and follow them... whether they're 10, or 26... and I've even seen some of the older ones pass on some of my tricks and particulars to the kids in their lives.

I turned out OK- mom did a good job with me. I know who I am (most days) and I make pretty big difference in some small worlds. That's good enough for me.

Genius strikes again?

Well... I learned that I'm not the only one who is being taught these new lessons in school. A fellow collegue was telling a story at lunch the other day... she happens to teach Social Studies, as do I.
She asked her students (who were mine last year) to write the names of the 6 New England states as a bonus question on a test. The responses?

Cape Cod
Mississippi
Europe
North Dakota


and she mentioned to them that she heard me actually teach them the correct answers...

makes me feel a bit better about my own geographical deficiencies... but also makes me wonder- what happens to brains over the summer?

Um... what am I supposed to do again??

Directions... are they just decoration, or do they serve some kind of purpose? Do I have to read them, or will they tell me what they say?

Being a person who reads and uses directions every single day, and especially if I'm trying to put something together, I don't get how some people just choose to ignore them. It makes me wonder sometimes how they get through the daily grind.

I'm convinced that these questions actually run through some kids heads when there's work to be done or a test to be taken. What I don't think will ever be made clear, is whether or not the kids figure out the answers to them. And of course, there are my two personal favorite phrases: "What?" and "I don't get it." - both of which are said immediately after directions are given- either to the general population or specifically to the individual.

Now, I know when I was a kid I used to say "what?" all the time... so much so that my parents had my hearing tested. Wasn't a hearing thing. Today processing would be questioned... wasn't that either because I could basically repeat what I had questioned only a few moments before. So it must have been a listening thing. Which I got over. But how do you teach that to a group of students? How do you stress the importance of listening the first time, and make sure they've all heard what's being said?

I'm trying an experiment in my class: giving the directions only once. So far (and it's only been a day) it's failing miserably. Whether it's selective hearing, selective listening, or something else altoghether, some things just don't compute. Volume doesn't help, and speed can only help some. The thing is to find a trick that will catch them all at the same time so they're all listening attentively to you... not their neighbor. I'm still looking.